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Enrique Iglesias attacked in US drone strike

Spanish singer, Enrique Iglesias, has become the most recent casualty of aggressive American foreign policy. During a concert in Mexico City the singer-songwriter, attempted to cease the strike in a defiant act of freedom-fighting. Iglesias suffered near-fatal lacerations to his fingers but continued the show as a protest to his attackers. According to Iglesias’ spokesman, he – “had no idea Enrique posed such a threat to American ideology,” stating that “his themes of sexual lust and love, are too powerful for American audiences.”

This isn’t the first time Iglesias has been the centre of controversy. In 2001, The King of Latin Pop, released his scathing political protest hit “Hero”, that topped the charts. American Secretary of Defence at the time, Donald Rumsfeld, commented – “the only heroes we need in America are our armed forces, whom we respect and trust as a nation”. The song went on to become an anthem for the anti-war movement and went on to win several awards. Convicted music producer, Phil Spector, called the single – “a weapon of mass production”.

Imitations of Iglesias’ iconic t-shirt have already outsold Che Guevara merchandise worldwide

Iglesias was rushed to hospital in Los Angeles where he is now under heavy surveillance following the expiration of US anti-terror surveillance laws. Fans and activists have taken to wearing red-stained t-shirts as a mark of solidarity.

50 Shades Author, E. L. James, to pen “Coalition Musical” for West End

Controversial author, E. L. James, has teamed up with prolific art-house director Werner Herzog to pen the stage play based on the five-year coalition between Prime Minister, David Cameron, and extracurricular policy onlooker, Nick Clegg. Under the working title ‘C♂alition’, James has been researching her new project for the past five years, working under an alias as Chief Secretary to the Treasury. The upcoming West End show is said to track the masochistic journey from Sheffield Hallam to Downing Street, following its descent into domination, humiliation and submissive conditioning.

“The story of a plucky young professional being seduced by a man in a position of power is a tale as old as time,” James said. “I’ve handled with great subtlety and approached it as a tasteful talking point for middle-aged women around the watercooler.”

Courtesy of The Guardian

Gyllenhaal & McIntyre set to portray the tumultuous pair.

Maggie Gyllenhaal has been slated to return to the stage in the lead role of Clegg and Herzog has reportedly been in talks with Michael McIntyre to make his West End debut as Cameron.