Britain For The Brutish

Budding philosopher, Marcus Benton (16), has been claimed to be one of the greatest thinkers of our time. His academic career initially found its feet when he posed the ground-breaking question, “what happens when we die?”. Having been described by his friends and close family as “quirky” and “random”, Benton determined he was destined for greatness. He has been praised nationally for his existential thinking, coining famous theories that spanned from “why do we exist?” to “what’s the point, we’re all just animals anyway”.

This week Benton announced that he “was born in the wrong generation”. After stumbling upon a collection of old Monty Python clips on YouTube in the ‘related videos’ to Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, he claimed that “everything is dumbed down now,” and things used to be “better in the old days”. The International Philosophical Symposium, that met in May 2015, described Benton’s work as “refreshing” and “cutting-edge”.

                    Described by experts as “one-of-a-kind”

“I think that music, especially, was much better in the 60s and 70s. Music nowadays is so produced and made for radio. That just never happened back then. Bands like One Direction are just made by a machine, you would never have a band like The Monkees these days,” Benton said, as he addressed the Symposium of 20,000 leading academics. He was met with 7 solid minutes of applause.

His new book, “Uncultured Swine: Why Things Are Getting Worse”, is available for release in all good bookstores, on Kindle, as an audiobook on Audible and self-distributed on his website and social media as an eBook.